


Leave the lost behind

by UndeadFae



Category: Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven: Orion no Kokuin
Genre: Angst, Atsuya's pov, Canon Divergence, the rest of ij is kinda there, there was an attempt, traitor shirou, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-11 21:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19118074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndeadFae/pseuds/UndeadFae
Summary: Shirou left the team to recover from his injury. That was all the rest of Inazuma Japan knew, and as far as Atsuya was concerned, it was all they needed to know. They didn't need to know that Shirou betrayed them, that he wasn't even sure he knew his own brother anymore.It all goes to hell when the match against Russia starts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this after episode 27 and now I rushed to finish at least one chapter after episode 32 so canon won't ruin all my hopes and dreams once everything is revealed  
> This idea was a spur of the moment at 1 am or so, don't ask me what I was thinking I don't know either  
> also writing a sort of match without knowing how an entire team plays is hard  
> Kudo and comment if you like it please? It helps me actually finish writing stuff

The Inazuma Japan thought they were prepared for everything, for anything they wouldn't expect, when they were about to step on the pitch to face Russia.

They were so, so wrong.

Atsuya was the first to notice, his eyes going wide and all the words dying in his throat as he saw him walk on the field, sporting the white and blue russian uniform. The rest of the team quickly followed with surprised gasps, confused faces, wounded looks and glares of betrayal, Hikaru in particular looking very pale.

Shirou refused to look at any of them. Something had died in his eyes.

Avoiding their gazes, Shirou tried to fix his shirt collar enough to hide the brand on his collarbone, but no matter how much he tugged at the fabric, that mark was still stubbornly showing, there for everyone to see. It was another painful proof of his betrayal exposed to the world, almost mocking them, showing them how far lost their friend- his brother was.

Before anyone could ask, accuse him of his wrong doings, the match had already started.

Japan kicked the ball, and Russia was immediately on them like a perfectly coordinated pack of wolves, Froy leading the attack with Shirou at his side, expression unreadable and actively trying to avoid Atsuya.

They got past Japan's defense with a startling ease, Froy passing the ball at Shirou once he was close enough to shoot, the action alone already raising more than one red flag. Atsuya knew very well every hissatsu Shirou could use, he didn't have any shot other than those they used together. Something was very wrong, and he hated not knowing what.

Then, Shirou kicked the ball high in the air, and everything grew colder.

The ice was surrounding him, creeping on the ground as sharp pillars rose from the ground all around him like a cage. Frost covered his limbs, unnatural spikes of ice sprouting from his body and forcing their way on his skin, taking over like he had become their puppet. The shards embedded on his back were still growing, bigger and sharper until they resembled deadly wings of ice and frost, stray snowflakes gracefully dancing in the wind circling his figure.

Atsuya's heart nearly stopped at the sight. He recognized the beginning of their hissatsu, knew already what it could do to the body, but the rest of this technique was new, and he dreaded to know what would happen to his brother afterwards.

With each shuddering breath came a puff of cold air, his whole body shivering like he was standing in the middle of a blizzard. Something flashed in his eyes, too fast for Atsuya to catch. Before he could yell at him to stop, Shirou was high in the air, hoisted by his wings and shooting, the shards of ice stabbed into his leg embedding themselves into the ball.

"Fallen angel."

It froze the net before Endou could even try to catch it.

The announcer was frantically talking, but Atsuya wasn't hearing a word, all of his attention on the hunched figure of his brother, taking in the way his body was shaking, how his breath was heavy and ragged, how he looked like he was freezing in place. He didn't miss how no one in the russian team seemed to care.

After a few moments, Shirou willed himself to stand up, absently rubbing his arms while he returned to his position. His eyes met Atsuya's, and he hurried to look away, too many emotions flashing through his eyes to pick them all apart. Atsuya recognized some of them; shame, frustration, guilt.

He had been angry when he found out about his brother, when he saw him leaking their data and then walking into the field on the russian side. He felt betrayed, stabbed right through the heart, like he was facing a stranger, an enemy instead of the only family he had left.

He wasn't so sure anymore.

Someone called his name and he rushed back to his position, fists clenched and heart heavy. Whatever happened, his brother was suffering the consequences alone, and he wouldn't stand for it.

Before the referee could whistle to resume the match, their coach made Saginuma and Nishikage enter the field, and the tension already lingering in the air only grew until it almost drowned them. That shoot was so strong he thought they needed the Asura to stop it. That couldn't be good.

They didn't have time to dwell on that thought, the match was quickly resumed and they could barely keep possession of the ball, and it wasn't just because of Russia's strength.

Then, the russian captain stole the ball with a precise slide.

Froy smiled and looked at Shirou, his grin not faltering even when he saw him flinch.

"Don't you dare-" Atsuya was standing in front of him, blocking his brother from Froy's sight and stealing back the ball in a second. Like hell he was going to let them go on with this, forcing his brother to shoot and slowly kill himself. One time was enough already, he wouldn't stand by and see what happened if Shirou overused that technique.

His efforts were quickly thwarted, two of the russian players getting in the way as he tried to pass the ball, taking and kicking it before Atsuya could react. It landed at Shirou's feet, close enough to shoot. Froy smiled at him, a dangerous edge to it, and Shirou silently clenched his fists, kicking it into the air as the scarily familiar ice surrounded him. The air was only a few grades colder, and yet Atsuya felt like he had been standing in the snow barefoot for hours, cold creeping into his bones and soul.

The Asura barely managed to stop the Fallen angel in time, the shot dangerously close to breaking through it. There was little relief to be had in that, especially after seeing Shirou fall to his knees and struggle to get back up, shivering and coughing, skin so deadly pale he looked ready to fall over.

Atsuya was the first to rush towards him, opposing teams be damned, when Froy stood between him and his brother, fake concern carefully woven into his expression.

"What's the matter? Were those two shots enough to drain you already? Do you need to sit this one out?"

"N-no! I-I can keep p-playing-" Everyone within earshot knew that was a lie, only having to listen to his shaky and breathless voice to know, to find the panic, the dread, the fear slipping into it. Froy didn't seem to care.

"Good! Let's win this then." Atsuya had to use every ounce of willpower he had to not punch him right there and then. Seeing the pain in his brother's eyes only made it harder.

"Just hold on a little longer- I'll save you." If Shirou heard his whisper, he didn't react, grimly following Froy like a man being sent to his death.

"Everyone! We have to stop Fubuki from shooting no matter what!" Gone was Endou's usual carefree grin ready to enjoy a good match, replaced by grim determination. A chorus of yes readily answered him, and Atsuya couldn't have been any more grateful.

The first half was tense, but they managed to keep the ball away from Shirou, although their chances to shoot were lower and none of the few they got successful, the ball always stopped by the smirking keeper like it was child's play and none of the russian players looking tired. The problem of the current score was still there.

Atsuya was quiet from his spot on the grass, mindlessly twirling the now empty bottle in his hands as he tried to tune in whatever conversation was going on between the rest of the team, barely managing to catch one or two words before his mind drifted away. He glanced at the other team's bench, but Shirou was nowhere to be seen. He didn't like it.

"We have to stop focusing so much on just keeping the ball and attack." Silence fell on the team as they looked over at him.

"But-"

"I know what'll happen if my brother gets the ball." His growl was enough to shut Mansaku up. "But this will only get worse if we don't win. Whatever happened, he isn't playing with them willingly, so what do you think will happen if Russia wins and keeps playing?" His grip on the bottle was so tight he might break it. "I don't know what that shot is doing to him, but if he keeps using it? It's gonna kill him, I can tell that much- he's already at his limit as it is and we still have another half to play. If it's not in this match, he'll collapse on another. I can't- I won't let that happen." No one pointed out how his voice broke at the end. Without waiting for an answer, Atsuya stood up and headed towards his position on the pitch, waiting for the match to resume.

 

As expected, Shirou was still playing as a forward in the second half. Froy still wanted to make him shoot, even when he was risking his life doing so. Shirou didn't seem to complain or try to stop either, just wordlessly following his every order like a puppet.

As much as it angered him, Atsuya knew getting pissed off wouldn't save his brother. For once, he forced himself to shove aside those untamed emotions and think with his brain instead of his heart.

Shirou is a defender, isn't used to playing as a forward, shouldn't be able to do it smoothly after having next to no training, it should be easy to make him commit a mistake and use that to their advantage- or so Atsuya thought. He looked almost at ease in his new role, it's scary how effortlessly he could match Atsuya's rougher playstyle. He forced himself to focus on playing instead of thinking of what Orion could've done to him.

He couldn't quite focus as well as he needs to once Shirou was the one fighting him for the ball. He didn't say a word as he faced his brother, briefly hesitating before picking his pace, struggling for a moment before he finally managed to take it. He didn't use Ice Ground despite all the chances he got.

Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him, maybe he was just that desperate, but Atsuya could swear he saw him mouthing an 'I'm sorry'.

"Damn it- don't shoot!" He turned to run towards his brother- but it was useless, he was too fast for him, already dribbling their defense and dangerously close to the goal. No one managed to stop him in time and then he was shooting again- and he fell after kicking the ball towards the goal with all his strength, his wings crumbled and faded into nothing, the ice shattered and he was falling like an angel with clipped wings.

He wasn't high enough for the fall to be lethal, but he wasn't high enough to correct it and land on his feet either. Atsuya did the only thing his panic-driven mind could think of: he threw himself in his path to catch him. On second thought, it was a terrible idea and he'd have some nasty bruises in the morning, but it was still better than letting Shirou get any more hurt.

"A-aniki, are you... aniki?" The first thing he noticed was how _cold_ Shirou was, so cold he could feel it even through their clothes. Then how badly he was shaking, how his skin turned so pale it was almost a deadly shade of white, how he immediately pressed a hand against his mouth when he tried to cough his lungs out. When he felt like he could breathe again and lowered his hand to take in some much needed air, Atsuya saw the blood, and his own ran cold. "A-aniki..."

Shirou only took a moment to stare at the red staining his hand before quickly wiping it off on his shorts, as if that could make everyone just ignore him and move on with the match. Struggling to stand up on shaky legs, he almost stumbled and fell, only managing to regain his balance because Atsuya quickly got up to support him. He almost walked away and back to the russian team when a hand on his wrist stopped him, firm enough to not let him go yet gentle enough to not hurt him, and Atsuya had to force himself to not shiver because damn it Shirou was too cold for his own health.

" _Please_." The hints of desperation in his voice were like a dagger, stabbing his heart and twisting inside the wound. Atsuya is the overly confident and sometimes annoying kid that everyone wants to slap once in a while- he shouldn't sound so... scared. "Don't do that again. Don't use that shot again- I can't lose you too."

Shirou silently looked away, the emotions shining in his eyes unreadable. When he finally found his voice to speak up, it wasn't more than a hoarse whisper.

"I-I'm sorry... I can't-" Before he could say anything else Froy was already calling him, his eyes going wide before he shrugged off Atsuya's hand to leave.

Atsuya knew by heart Shirou's scared expression, a sight he had dreadfully grown used to after the avalanche when he tried to calm his brother down and snap him out of a panic attack. He had promised himself long ago, when Shirou still pushed through despite everything thrown at them all for his sake, that he'd try his hardest to not have to see that face again, to not have to see his brother so broken and hurt again. The broken promise left a bitter taste like acid in his mouth.

"Haizaki." He turned to face Atsuya upon hearing his name, usual scowl replaced by a questioning look. "Help me score and put an end to this." Normally, he would be complaining, even going as far as taking the ball to try and score himself like the childish bickering with Hiroto that never truly died down. The deadly serious expression on Atsuya's face was enough to shove all those complains into a corner of his mind- the situation was serious enough as it was, he knew they had to win no matter what.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Feel like trying a chained shoot?"

"Are you sure? We never tried this before-"

"I know it could hurt me- just give me your best shot, I'll handle it." For a moment he went quiet, his eyes falling on the still shivering figure of his brother. "Aniki is risking his life in this match. I have to do the same if I want to save him." After a moment of silence, Haizaki just nodded, something akin to understanding in his eyes.

The match resumed with an intense fight for the ball, and when Atsuya finally got it, he forced himself not to look at Shirou in the eyes, passing it to Haizaki before anyone else could try to steal it.

"Now!"

"Got it!" And he's kicking the ball towards Atsuya with all his strength, wisps of dark water surrounding him and the force of the ocean itself at his feet. "Shark the deep!"

The keeper is already preparing to stop the shot, when its course suddenly changes, the massive jaws of the shark threatening to maul Atsuya. He jumped to catch it, blurry wisps of red and black energy gathered at his feet, grunting in pain when he so much as touched the ball, but refusing to back down- he's already known as the bear killer, he can damn well tame a shark if he tries hard enough.

"Hissatsu kumagoroshi zan!" It took all his strength and almost breaking his leg to push against the shark, to redirect its course towards the goal with his own hissatsu.

Against the terrifying power of both animals, the keeper didn't stand a chance.

The effect of their shot was almost immediate over the team, part of that tension holding them in a death grip lifted as soon as the score was turned into a tie. It still wasn't a victory, but they were closer to it now. They could put an end to it and save Shirou.

Atsuya was too busy almost falling over and taking in as much air as he could to notice someone was coming until he was standing next to him. He lifted his head just enough to see Haizaki next to him, worry carefully hidden in the bloody red of his eyes.

"Nice shot."

"... Thanks." There was no further exchange of words, no happy high fives and celebrations after evening the score, the grim reminder of what this match meant for their lost member still heavy on their minds. The two walked back to their half of the pitch in silence.

The match resumed, and Atsuya was more determined than ever to score, to save his brother before he could completely lose him. He already lost a part of his family and soul once, he wouldn't just watch as what little he had left crumbled before his eyes.

Hikaru had been surprisingly quick to cut Froy's pass and take the ball, not an ounce of hesitation like everyone expected in front of his ex-captain, only hardened determination shining in his eyes.

"Atsuya-san!" Before anyone could stop him, the ball was already soaring towards Atsuya, too fast for anyone to intercept the pass.

When he received the ball, something shifted in the air, Russia suddenly wary of him, watching his every movement as if waiting for the moment he would pounce on them like a hungry beast. They weren't wrong to be so on edge. He didn't advance much further into their side before he called forth the raw strength of the winter.

"Destroy everything in your path." His voice sounded calm, yet it held an icy fury, the cold rage of a beast striving to protect who he held close. His brother's pain, frustration, powerlessness, the people that almost broke his family again- he'd destroy everything with his shot.

The wind picked up, the ice encased the ball, snowflakes gently fell around him.

He remembered the day they created this shot together, their first hissatsu before they could perfect their Double white impact, when their parents were still there to cheer them up, when they weren't forced to grow up so fast just to survive. Before the avalanche took everything away. He'd wield that same power to save and protect now.

"Eternal blizzard!"

The shot left a trail of deadly spikes of ice in its path, growing bigger and deadlier as it got closer to the goal, too fast and dangerous to catch.

A whistle, the shot went in.

Three whistles, the match had ended.

It was finally over. Japan won.

Their celebration died down quickly once the adrenaline of the moment wore off. There was a bitter taste left behind once they remembered who was standing on the field, where their friend had gone.

Atsuya was quiet as he regained his breath, looking around in search of his brother because there was no way he was letting him walk away this time, not after what happened. He found him scarily still not too far away, and started making his way over to his brother.

Shirou collapsed in a matter of seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poses  
> I have managed to finish a fic with more than 2 chapters how cool is that

For a few agonizing seconds, nobody moved, too shocked to even speak.

Atsuya was the first to react.

"Aniki!" Panic and fear forced his legs to run, ignoring the ache as he knelt down to his brother's side, his heart nearly stopping altogether.

Eyes hazy and unfocused, pulse weak, breath slow, skin cold like ice.

He's lived in the snow and cold of Hokkaido long enough to recognize the symptoms.

"Call an ambulance- now!" Someone yelled something back, but Atsuya wasn't listening, his eyes refusing to leave the near unconscious form of his brother. Forcing back the panic clouding his mind, he rushed to the bench, grabbing the first jersey he could find to drape it over Shirou as a makeshift blanket, careful to not touch him more than necessary. He hated having to remember all those first aid lessons the school insisted on giving, hated knowing that he had to use them, his panicked mind struggling to recall everything he had to do once faced with the scary realization that this might be it, that this time he could lose Shirou for real.

"What's wrong?" He didn't know when Endou had rushed to his side, voice pouring with worry as he offered his own jersey after seeing his actions, but he didn't care either.

"He has hypothermia!" It was like watching their parents die all over again- he couldn't let it happen again, he couldn't lose his brother too. His voice dropped to a shaky whisper. "Please be alright, please... I can't lose you too..." He didn't care how pathetic and weak he sounded, how close he was to screaming and crying, he'd do anything if it meant his brother wouldn't die.

Someone gently moved him aside, the paramedics quickly getting to work and hoisting Shirou into the ambulance. One of the men exchanged a few quick words with their coach, who only nodded and thanked him in return. The russian coach was nowhere in sight, and almost their entire team was already gone, likely waiting in their locker room to leave like nothing was wrong in the world.

Froy was still there, standing a few meters away from the japanese team, a mix of innocence and vague curiosity in his eyes.

Nobody moved just yet after the ambulance drove off, a heavy silence hanging in the air like a death sentence. Then, Atsuya stalked over to the russian captain, a dangerous glint in his eyes like he was ready to rip his throat apart.

"What the hell did you do to my brother?"

Froy smiled, something bitter and cold.

"Me? Nothing at all- he did everything himself, you know? All for the sake of his little brother." His smile looked like poison.

"What..."

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" 'if he survives' was left unspoken. Froy only took a few moments to take in Atsuya's shocked expression before turning to leave with his team.

"Wait! Don't you dare- let me go!" Someone was holding him back before he could punch the smile off Froy's face. Atsuya didn't give up so easily, kicking and screaming and struggling to set himself free, to make that bastard pay for what he did to his brother. He barely heard Haizaki grunt in pain, his murderous glare dead set on the retreating figure of the russian captain.

"Atsuya! Calm down!" He only heard Endou's words once Froy was out of his sight, stopping his wild trashing to regain his breath. Once they thought they could let him go without someone ending up dead, Hiroto and Haizaki carefully put Atsuya down. He was eerily quiet, fists clenched and shaking in barely contained anger. 

"Atsuya...?" He glared, yet Endou didn't flinch, all too aware of the weary tiredness in his eyes. "Come on, let's go to the hospital, Fubuki needs you." He silently nodded, immediately turning and heading for the bus. No one dared to stop him or remind him that he was forgetting his jersey.

The ride was quiet, everyone too busy with the recent events to even want to start a conversation. In a few occasions someone glanced in Atsuya's direction, the kid resting his head on his hand as he mindlessly gazed outside the window. When the bus stopped, he was the first to get off, heading inside and to the reception without waiting for anyone else. He was too tired to care when the receptionist directed him towards Shirou's room with a pitiful look.

He overheard a doctor talking to their coach, saying something about CPR and other medical stuff that went over his head. All he cared about was knowing that his brother was stable now and not in life threatening danger anymore.

Walking into the room, his eyes landed on the sleeping figure of his brother. Shirou was fast asleep, still looking pale and sick, but at least he didn't look like he was about to die anymore.

"You can be a real pain in the ass when you want to, you know that?" There was no anger in his voice, just a tired bitterness. Shirou didn't stir.

Sighing, Atsuya sat down on the chair next to the bed, a hand hesitantly reaching out to take Shirou's, to remind himself that his brother was still alive.

* * *

 

Atsuya didn't know how much time passed when Shirou finally stirred, and he was too relieved to care.

"Aniki?" His eyes slowly opened, his head turning just enough to look at his brother.

"A-Atsuya...?" His voice was low, hesitant and confused like he couldn't quite believe what was going on. Like he couldn't believe Atsuya was there for him.

"I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"... I'm cold. And tired." Not surprising. For someone recovering from hypothermia Shirou was doing better than he expected.

"Go back to sleep, alright? You need it."

"Atsuya..." Shirou opened his mouth to speak, closing it again when he struggled to find the right words. It took him a few minutes to gather his thoughts, but Atsuya didn't pressure him. He could take as long as he needed. "I-I'm sorry... I-"

"Don't apologize." He sighed when Shirou flinched, hated seeing the hurt in his eyes. He didn't want to ask, not when his brother still needed to recover, but leaving the issue alone once is what got them into this mess. It couldn't wait any longer- he wouldn't lose him again.

"You... you had your reasons, right? You wouldn't do this sort of thing without a very good reason." Shirou didn't answer, trying to look at anything but Atsuya. "... Was it because of me?" His eyes widened, breath catching in his throat as if for a moment he forgot how to breathe. Atsuya hated to know Froy was right.

"W-what- how..."

"After you collapsed. I asked the russian captain what he did to you." Repeating those words felt like swallowing poison. "He said... he said that he didn't do anything. That you did all of this yourself. For me." Shirou looked away. It was all Atsuya needed to know it was true. "Why did you do it?"

"... O-Orion approached me, some time after the preliminaries. They said... they said that... t-they saw how strong you are a-and... t-they wanted to take you, but... i-if I helped them, t-they wouldn't t-touch you- a-and I couldn't let them, s-so I just a-accepted-" Atsuya is painfully aware of how his voice is shaking and breaking, how hard he's trying to hold back the tears, how he isn't shaking just because of the cold. He wanted to stop him, to tell him that it was alright and he didn't blame him, that he knew he would have done the same without hesitation and it's not his fault, but Shirou is still talking, voice growing frantic and desperate. "I-I tried to trick t-them at first... I-I didn't want to betray the team so I sent fake data- but t-they found out after our match with Spain- t-they told me I had to help Russia to make up for it- a-and they wanted t-that shot I j-just- I-I'm sorry-"

"Hey, hey- calm down! It's ok!" Fearing an oncoming panic attack, Atsuya quickly stood up to get closer, taking him by the shoulder and trying to ground him before he could lose himself. "It's ok, just- just breathe, listen to me and take deep breaths."

It took a while more than Atsuya would've liked, but deep breath after deep breath, Shirou slowly calmed down, no longer risking to hyperventilate. Danger avoided, Atsuya tiredly sighed, dropping back on his seat.

For a few minutes, they were quiet, too drained and busy with their own thoughts to talk.

"... Shinjou-san tried to convince me at first." Shirou started, almost too casually. Atsuya didn't like at all where this was going. "He said he would tell me the truth about Orion if I joined." Something shifted uncomfortably in his stomach at the revelation. "I refused. It just- it didn't feel right. What if it was just a trap? I couldn't trust him just like that." The relief he felt was quick to die once the realization hit him, his eyes widening as he put the pieces together.

"Then..."

"I guess it was their way of showing that they're in control. I said no and he... he threatened you again. I had no choice anymore." Then, Shirou frowned. "Mom and dad would be so mad at me..."

"Yeah, they would, because you're a selfless self sacrificing idiot. Other than that? They would be proud of you." He didn't realize how badly he missed seeing his brother smile until a faint grin was tugging at his lips. "Now go back to sleep, you need to rest after almost turning yourself into a popsicle. I can see how hard you're trying to stay awake."

"Are you leaving?" It was just a question, yet he could hear the almost desperate plead in his voice. For a moment, they were back to those bleak days of years ago, two little kids clinging to each others when they had nothing and no one else left.

"I'm staying til you fall asleep, then I'll go call the team to let them know what's going on and I'll be right back, is that alright?" A soft hum and Shirou was snuggling into the blankets, his eyes slowly closing. In a few minutes, his breath evened out, softly snoring into the pillow.

Atsuya quietly looked at his brother, reassuring himself that he was really alive and sleeping peacefully, that everything would be ok. Turning off the light, he hesitantly walked out of the room, silently closing the door behind him.

* * *

 

He refused to admit it, but walking into the hospital's waiting room to find the entire team still there for his brother, knowing they still cared despite what he's done, made Atsuya happier than he thought to be possible.

"Atsuya!" Endou was the first to notice him, catching everyone's attention in the process. "How is he?"

"Fell asleep a few minutes ago. He was pretty shaken after the whole Orion deal, but hopefully he'll get better with time." He didn't want to think about how he might not get better, how he feared to have lost him just like when they lost their parents. The next words felt like they were burning his throat. "... He thought I was going to hate him when I found out."

"Did he tell you anything...?"

"... Orion threatened him. Told him if he didn't help them they were going to take me instead. He tried to trick them with fake data and they found out, so they forced him to play with Russia." No one commented on how badly his hands were shaking. "They wanted our shot, but he refused, so he just- he just trained to make a new one, even if it could kill him-" He didn't want to think about that anymore, the nightmares from years ago of his brother's frozen corpse fresh on his mind.

No one spoke afterwards, and he used the heavy silence to fetch a water bottle and check the phone that had been buzzing non-stop since the end of the match. He almost dropped the bottle when he saw the familiar numbers of the Hakuren team, their usually dead group chat suddenly alive and bombarding him for answers. Of course they were watching, they all promised to not miss a match since Shirou was picked, promising the same to him once they found out he would join their national team with his brother. All they knew was that their captain had somehow returned after an injury that forced him to leave, only to go and play for Russia and almost got himself killed in the process- for all they knew he was dead, he didn't doubt that at least one camera had caught his collapse and the following ambulance.

He definitely wasn't looking forward explaining the whole thing.

While he was busy typing and deleting over and over in his poor attempts at explaining himself, someone tossed a jersey his way. After stumbling to catch it he saw Haizaki in front of him, a newly formed bruise on his cheek where his elbow hit him. He winced at the sight, half expecting him to retaliate. It wasn't like he didn't deserve it.

"Sorry about that." Haizaki looked almost surprised by the apology before shrugging.

"It's fine, you didn't mean to... I know how that feels, kinda- someone hurting those you care about like that, I mean..."

"... Oh." The awkward conversation died there. What could you say in the face of the frustration, the powerlessness of seeing your loved ones in pain and being unable to help?

Though, Atsuya had to admit it, knowing there was someone who understood, who offered his support without pity... it was nice.

* * *

 

"Well." Atsuya stood up, stiffing a yawn as he pocketed his phone and stretched his arms. The team didn't take the news so well- not like he could blame them. It took a while to calm them down, but they finally let him go after promising to call once Shirou was awake and agreed to talk to them. Least there were no threats involved this time around. "I'm gonna go now. Have a good night or whatever."

"Where are you going?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm not gonna leave aniki alone, I'm spending the night here and making sure he'll be alright." He didn't say that what worried him the most was seeing him wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying, still trapped in his nightmares like the weeks after the avalanche. They didn't need to know that.

No one in the team was exactly happy leaving the siblings alone in the hospital, but Atsuya's sheer stubbornness reluctantly convinced them to go back and rest. Endou still promised to come back the next day before practice to check on them and make sure Shirou was recovering just fine. No one was able to dissuade him- or wanted to.

When he walked back into the room, to his relief Shirou was still asleep. Dropping onto the nearest chair, Atsuya sighed, allowing his exhaustion to take over.

* * *

 

The following day, it was Hikaru who walked into the room first, a hesitant knock on the door announcing his presence, poking his head in as if he was still unsure whether or not it was ok to walk in, even after Atsuya huffed and told that yes, it was really ok and neither of them minded.

"I just... I just wanted to see how you're doing, Fubuki-san... is everything ok? I mean..." For a brief moment, Hikaru's eyes landed on the brand still visible on Shirou's collarbone, hurrying to look away when he tried to pull his shirt to hide it. It was all Atsuya needed to understand what Hikaru was really talking about- of course he would be concerned, no one else in the team understood Shirou's situation as a disciple better than him.

Yet another thing he couldn't help his brother with, his mind supplied.

"I'm fine... thank you." He wasn't fine. Neither of them pointed it out.

For a while, Shirou and Hikaru made small talk, Atsuya being more than happy to just sit back and watch- not like he had anything to add. He was terrible at this kind of talk, really. At least it kept Shirou too busy to keep blaming himself.

The peace only lasted until Endou walked into the room with his big grin and a soccer ball under his arm, far too loud for a hospital. Atsuya already missed the blissful silence.

* * *

 

A day later, the doctors finally deemed it safe to discharge Shirou. He was still bound to the help of crutches to walk, though- even if whatever Orion did to him healed his injury in time for the match, Fallen angel took its toll on him. Forbidden techniques and freshly healed injuries did not mix at all. At least Shirou was a far better patient than Atsuya, politely smiling and carefully listening to all of the doctor's orders, promising to follow them without so much as a complain.

"Are we ready to leave now?" Saying Atsuya was eager to leave the hospital was an understatement.

"Yes, yes, calm down..."

Despite his claims that he was fine and there was no need to worry, Atsuya could still see all the signs. He saw the way Shirou kept trying to pull the collar of his shirt over the Orion's brand, how he still looked around as if he knew someone was watching him, how he tried to stay close to his brother as if he would diasppear as soon as he was out of sight.

Shirou was far from fine. Atsuya could only hope things would get better and curse his own powerlessness.

"Here." Shirou blinked in confusion, a hand hesitantly reaching out to take the soft scarf offered to him, a questioning look in his eyes. "Just use it, ok? It'll cover that thing if that's what's worrying you so much. 'Sides, you almost froze to death-" neither of them were too keen on remembering that. "-and we're still in Russia, so you need to stay warm. Come on, I don't wanna stay here any more than necessary." Atsuya looked away, huffing the way he did whenever he was embarrassed.

"... Thank you." Shirou smiled, his first genuine smile in a long time. The scarf around his neck was warm and comfortable, holding the familiar scent of snow and trees. It felt like home.

"Also I already told the others, so now you'll be sharing the room with me. Sorry, but you're stuck with me for a long time." His grin already showed how unapologetic he was. Shirou didn't mind. There was something else heavy on his mind anyways.

"Orion probably won't just sit down and let me go like this, you know?" Atsuya just shrugged.

"I know and I don't care. If they want to come and take you back I'll kick their sorry asses, that's a promise." Shirou wasn't completely sure he could believe that, but seeing his brother so confident, determined to not let him go again even after everything he did, was enough to calm down his worries.

"Atsuya?" He turned to look at Shirou, a questioning look on his face. "Thank you. For everything."

For a moment, Atsuya looked almost surprised, like he wasn't actually expecting a thanks. Then, a sharp grin slowly spreaded on his face.

"You don't have to thank me- but you're welcome."   
  



End file.
